Wishful Thinking
by Rexa13
Summary: Nami spends the night on the beach with Jack. Only to find herself in a situation. Now Nami feels she needs to get away. But when she comes back something's amiss. JackNami AWL
1. Starry Night

Rexa13: So I'm back doing another AWL fic, that I thought of today. Please R&R.

Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing.

--

The nighttime was always so beautiful when you could view the sky and the ocean. If I could sketch the beauty of this at night I think I would feel accomplished in life.

The thing is, I don't just want to get the scenery. I wish I could exit my body and draw with my soul. Then I would be able to get myself sitting next to Jack, who was lying down peacefully.

I looked down at farmer trying to compare his beauty (handsome kind of beauty) to the beauty of the scenery. Of course there were many differences, but it was hard figuring out which was more breathtaking.

"Look a shooting star," Jack said pointing to the sky with a childish grin on his already happy face.

I looked as the star passed. Jack was whispering in a voice that was hardly audible. I looked away from the dark sky and bright stars into Jack's eyes that were almost like stars.

"What are you whispering about?" I asked trying to sound interested, though with my tone of voice I sounded as though I didn't care.

"I can't tell you," Jack said, "lie down with me."

I sighed and lied down, Jack placed his hand over mine. Now all I could see was the sky. It was such a dark blue, yet the stars were so white, then the moon seemed so big compared to all the stars.

"Why can't you tell?" I asked looking at Jack from the corner of my eye.

"Because then my wish won't come true," he said, believing this to be fact.

I looked back at the sky wondering about what Jack had wished for. I could hardly even notice the scenery as I thought about Jack's wish. He was so unpredictable, yet so very predictable.

"Hey Nami," Jack asked. I could feel his eyes on my face.

"Yes," I said snapping back into reality.

"Don't you wish we could do this every night?" Jack asked.

"Not if it's going to get really cold," I said.

"Oh," He said.

I wished I could take back the words I said. Jack sounded so disappointed that I had seemed so cruel.

"If only summer could last forever," I said saying the first thing that came to mind. "Y'know so we could do this every night," I said this hoping it would make Jack not think I was a horrible person.

"Yeah," Jack said, "that'd be great."

We were silent as we looked at the sky. Then Jack sat up suddenly. He moved so quickly, making me jump in surprise.

"What?" I asked starting to feel tired. I propped myself up on my elbows as I looked at Jack.

Jack pulled something out of his pocket and looked at me. He smiled so sweetly that it made me blush, which made me happy it was dark.

"Nami, marry me," he said showing me a blue feather.

I was dumb founded. I couldn't believe Jack was asking me such a thing. My stomach fluttered as I thought the matter over. I had only known Jack for two seasons and now he was asking me to marry him. Sure I loved him but marriage seemed so scary.

"Sure," I said against my better judgment. I had never seen marriage, or love work out in my life, but I was willing to give it a try.

"I love you Nami," Jack said handing me the feather.

I nodded taking the fragile feather into my hands. I stroked it gently. It was so soft and I could tell it was so delicate.

"I love you too," I said. It was the first time I had spoken the words, they made my mouth tingle, but I meant them.

Jack gave me a quick peck on the lips and lied back down. I did the same. I was engaged and was going to be married by the end of the year.

"Hey Jack was your wish?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter it came true," he said looking at me.

"C'mon just tell me what it was," I said.

"I wished that you would say yes," he said.

"Oh," I said thinking about how it was so obvious.

--

Rexa13: Well that's it. I can make this go from a oneshot to a longer story, but that would be up to the reviewers, not me. So please review and tell me what you think of this um… kinda bad story.


	2. Trapped

Rexa13: Ok so one of my friends told me to keep writing this story and put it online, so here you go.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story…

--

I always though that Forget Me Not Valley was a simply beautiful place, emphasis on simple. It wasn't a place I could see myself living in for the rest of my life. My life before the valley was so much different than what it was becoming. I used to travel, never sticking around. Now I was going to move into Jack's house in fifteen days.

I never saw myself married let alone engaged. Sure I had a few flings in other places but it had never gone this far, I wasn't sure I was ready for something like this.

I felt nervous as I walked to Jack's farm we needed to talk. Better now than never. Besides never would be too late.

I sighed by body threatening to walk past the farm up to the oh so familiar hill that lead to Mineral Town.

Even though my body was threatening betrayal (more like retreat) I willed myself to walk onto the farm.

A friendly bark greeted me as Jack's floppy eared puppy ran to me.

"Hey Buddy what are you barking at?" Jack's familiar childish voice called.

The dog-Buddy-looked over to the field where Jack was, then at me. I waved to the dog who barked and ran to the fence surrounding the field.

It still isn't to late to turn back. I thought, itching to turn around.

"Nami," Jack said as I was turning to leave.

Damn repeated in my mind as I turned back to look at him.

"Uh hi, Jack," I said scratching the back of my head as Jack ran over to me, a brush in his hand.

"What's up?" He asked smiling at me goofily.

I couldn't do this not to Jack. A large lump formed in my throat and a sigh cam out.

"Jack," I said in a voice that was hardly audible.

"What is it?" He asked looking at me curiously.

"Jack," I said louder hurting my throat. My blue eyes dropping to the floor to evade his big brown ones.

His face fell, he was childish not stupid.

"Nami?" He asked somewhat pleadingly.

"Look Jack, I really do love you, it's just we're young. Why rush a marriage?" I asked.

"I know we're young but Nami, with you life seems right," he said seriously.

"I feel so trapped," I admitted. Jack looked like he had been slapped. "No, no, Jack I'm just not ready to get married."

It was quiet between the two of us. Buddy barked playfully at our feet.

"I just need time away from the valley," I said.

"Ok," Jack said his voice sounding apathetic.

I walked away trying to hide tears that were filling up my eyes. It was weird even though I had hurt Jack and myself I felt like a real person, like this was something normal people did.

I pondered this as I walked into Blue Bar. I looked from Patrick to Muffy to Grifin. He was the man I needed; he was the one who mixed drinks.

--

I had planned to stay in the valley for a year, but I needed to get away before I officially settled down.

Tim and Ruby were sad as I walked away from their small hotel. People passing by frowned when the noticed my dusty old overused bag.

I looked at Jack's farm as I passed. The lump in my throat reappeared as I passed. What was I doing? I couldn't leave Jack, the valley, this was my home, the first one I wanted to actually have as my home. But I knew what I had to do.

I had to leave, even though it hurt. I'd only be gone for ten days. Then I could be with Jack for the rest of my life.

As I reached the hill that lead to Mineral Town I sighed. It was time to go.

I got to the top of the hill and looked back. When I came back the valley would be consumed in thick snow.

As I turned away and started walking again I felt like winter had hit me. A season was only ten days long and that's how long I was going to be gone. It would be hard while I wasn't at the valley but I was doing what was best for me.

Even though I knew it would be a hard ten days I knew I had to go. Even though this was my winter I would come back to Forget Me Not valley to find my winter gone.

--

Rexa13: Please tell me what you think. I know I haven't captured a traditional Nami, but I wanted to get a more human feel to her. She is normally so icy, I felt she needed to be more normal.


	3. Warm Welcome

Rexa13: Sorry for my long absence. I'm not supposed to be on the computer, but my mom isn't home right now.

Disclaimer: I continue to own nothing.

--

As I predicted the time I was gone from the valley wasn't enjoyable. I went through a couple towns in a daze. My thoughts were centered on Jack and the valley.

I had tried drawing everything I could on my trip, but everything turned out wrong. Sure tree's looked like trees, but they didn't look right. Everything came out looking so… simple and plain.

But now as I walked down the hill from Mineral Town I felt everything was indeed simple. Everything about life that seemed so complex was now solved.

I was home.

I passed Vesta's farm and got looks from Celia and Marlin, who were tending crops. Celia smiled and waved and Marlin just seemed to glare. I looked at the two with a natural icy look, but on the inside I was a little happy to see them. Even though I didn't care for them.

As my excitement grew and my body froze I quickened my pace. I had to get to the inn so I could hurry and see Jack.

Moving on with a straight face became difficult as I proceeded to the inn. I quickly glanced around and let myself smile since no one was around.

"Nami," Ruby said walking from the kitchen right after I entered the inn.

I looked at Ruby my gaze softening. She was a sweet woman who you couldn't help but love.

"Can I still use the old room?" I asked casually.

"Of course," she said nodding. Her eyes evaded mine and looked as though they had a secret to tell.

I shoved the thought of secrets from my mind as I walked upstairs and went to my old room. I hadn't realized how much I had missed it until I sat on the bed and put my bag away.

I got up and went to my little journal, the one I had accidentally left behind. I opened it and saw the four red hearts that showed my affections for Jack.

Jack, I needed to see him. I ran out of the room, out of the inn and finally, to his ranch.

As I walked onto the property I was greeted by Buddy's friendly bark. I knelt down and pet the pup when he got to me. He licked my fingers happily, his tail wagging quickly.

"Hey Buddy," a not so familiar voice said.

I looked up to see Takakura. I had only spoken to him a few times and didn't really care much for him.

"Where's Jack?" I asked icily not bothering to have a conversation.

"Probably off at the bar," Takakura grumbled. His tone matched mine. Apparently our feelings were mutual.

I nodded and got up. I turned on my heal and walked away.

As I walked to the bar I wondered why Jack would be there. I hoped I hadn't hurt him enough to where he'd spend time drinking.

The bar was always easy to hear from a few feet away. Whenever they were open Griffin would play his music. It never seemed to get louder no matter how far away you were.

My hand shook as I opened the door to the bar. I was excited to see Jack again, but I was also a little nervous. What if he didn't want to be with me anymore? I had left after all.

In the main room there was only Griffin. This took me by a little bit of surprise since Jack was supposed to be here.

"Hey Nami you're back," Griffin said looking at me with dull eyes.

"Been around for about an hour," I said lazily.

I was a little more casual in the bar. The people here were all pretty interesting and open.

"You want a drink?" He asked.

"Um I was actually looking for Jack," I said.

"He's in the back room," Griffin said pointing to the door.

I nodded and walked into the room. Inside looked pretty empty until my eyes got to the corner by Muffy's ladder.

My heart sank as I saw Jack and Muffy nose to nose, looking into each other's eyes. They seemed to be having a whispered conversation.

"What the hell," I said. The pair pulled apart and looked at me as I slammed the door.

"Nami," I heard Jack say from the doorway of the bar.

I ignored him and walked quickly away. I was pissed and the best thing to do was leave me alone.

"Nami," Jack said grabbing onto my arm.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"You're back," he said.

I whirled around, his hand falling from my arm. I looked at him as icily as I could. "Of course I'm back, just like I told you," I snapped.

"You said you needed time," he said.

"I got time," I snapped. "I was gone for a seasons worth of time.

"But you left your feather," Jack said.

"Accidents happen."

Oh."

"What were ou doing with her?" I asked trying not to sound hurt.

"I thought you weren't coming back," he explained.

"So you didn't trust me to come back?" I asked.

"I was hurt and confused," he said pleadingly. I could tell he really wanted me to understand.

"So you hook up with the bar whore?" I asked.

"She's not a whore," he said defensively.

"She could have fooled me," I said darkly. I couldn't believe he was sticking up for that slut!

"Look, after you left I was at the bar trying to convince Griffin to let me drink more," he sighed, "I felt so beartbroken. Then Muffy went on break and convinced me to walk with her. As we walked, we talked."

"You expect me to believe that you just talked?" I nearly shouted and pointed at the bar.

"No we did get together. She was my shoulder to cry on," he paused. "While I was drunk I gave her your feather."

"You are an unfaithful ass,."

With that last remark I turned on my heal and walked away. Within moments I found myself by the rivers edge. I looked at the water run by as apathy started to form inside me.

"The water looks so pretty doesn't it?" An older voice asked kindly.

I looked to my side and saw Nina smiling at me. She looked old, sick, and frail. Like a woman about to die.

"What's so pretty about it?" I asked in monotone.

"This river always lookes amazing," She said.

"I guess," I said shrugging.

In truth I find the water beautiful. It was always so clear. It shone with the sun and sparkled with the moon. It always matched the land, whether it was spring, summer, fall, or winter.

"What's eating you dear?" Nina asked.

"I'm fine," I lied through my teeth, hands clenching into fists. My gaze returning to the water.

"Now, now no need to lie to an old woman," Nina said with a chuckle. "Why when you get as old as me you just know when something is wrong."

"Jack got engaged to Muffy when he was already engaged to me." I blurted not knowing why.

"Something like that happened when I was you with Galen," Nina said.

Really," I asked. I never thought anyone in this town would know how this was, especially happy on Nina.

"Yes," Nina nodded, "you know what I did?"

"What?" I asked curiously looking at her again.

"I won him over," Nina said proudly. "Yes I was a looker and pretty dang smart, like you. I made a lot of competition and Galen couldn't resist."

"Wow," I said. It was shocking that sweet old Nina did something like that.

"Yes ma'am even I can be bad," Nina chuckled again.

"But Jack's getting married in five days, how can I win him back in that amount of time.

"I was a looker and smart, much like you," Nina repeated.

"Nina," Galen called.

"That's Galen I should go," Nina said turning away.

"But," I said.

"Trust me you'll figure something out."

I bit my lower lip.

Nina looked over her shoulder, "if it's any consolation I don't really like that Muffy girl either."

I smiled a little as Nina chuckled and walked away.

I looked back at the water. I'd have to thank Nina later, once I got Jack back. In the meantime I would have to plot. I had to start winning him back tomorrow.

I looked up at the darkening sky. Looks like I would have to plot fast since tomorrow wasn't that far away.

I walked back to the Inner Inn as small bits of plans formed in my head. I was beginning to figure out what I would have to do. So far it didn't seem too hard, it was all a matter of timing.

Once back in my room I set my alarm, I would have to be awake early enough to get this all done. That and Muffy couldn't be around, that would ruin everything.

But Muffy had already ruined everything. Now it was up to me to fix it.

--

Rexa13: Please tell me what you think.


	4. Follower

Rexa13: So I must say I'm not exactly sure how this story is going to turn out, let alone chapter. I have some ideas but I think I'm going to have to mule over them for a couple weeks…

Disclaimer: I continue to own nothing.

--

It is totally silent when I wake up. My head hurts and my eyes are heavier than they normally are. It takes a minute before my head registers everything that's happened and where I am.

I sit up a little to quickly and add a dizzy frenzy to my throbbing head. I look around the all too bright room aimlessly. Then my eyes settle on the window. It's letting too much light in through the too thin floral half curtains. A mass amount of light shines on a plant right by the window. The blue and purple flowers seem to be flowing with life on what seems to be a beautiful (in the eyes of many) day.

Even though I feel completely horrible I know I must get going on my days plans. I have a wedding to stop.

I quickly get dressed, stumbling over anything and everything in my way. Before I leave the room check my clock. I stare at it dumbfounded. It's already 10:30. I snap back into reality when my bangs fall over an eye. I push it back and leave the room.

I bump into Ruby as I exit. I look at her for a second before she speaks.

"I was just coming to see if you were okay," she said smiling her kind Ruby smile.

I nod. She knows I'm always up earlier, and Rock sleeps until the day is half gone.

"I'm fine," I lie easily. It seems Ruby believes me as her eyes show she is relaxed.

"Ok then," she says. "Would you like something to eat?" She asks in a motherly way.

"I'm fine," I say starting to walk away. "I have some stuff I need to do today."

"Oh ok," Ruby says.

When I walk outside I'm greeted with even more light. I look at the sky and see the dazzling sun beating down. I look at the snow, which seems to be in the slow process of melting away. It looks somewhat mushy and unwelcoming.

I get to Jack's in a matter of moments hoping it's not too late for my plan to start. It isn't one that is too thought out, but one that should bring back some memories.

Buddy greets me with a friendly bark and I look at him flinching some. The bark is too loud and it keeps my head throbbing.

"Please stop," I say softly to the dog. He seems to like me because as soon as I ask this he stops.

"Buddy come here boy," I hear and immediately look up from the dog.

Jack looks happy as the small dog runs to his master. Jack bends down and pats the dog as he approaches. He looks up and when his eyes reach mine he seems at a loss for words.

"Nami," he says getting up and walking over to me.

"Mind if I look around?" I ask as nonchalantly as possible.

"Not at all," Jack says quickly.

I go around looking from spot to spot on the ranch. As Jack waters some crops I look at a nearby tree. When he gets milk from his cows I watch. I go to the crops last. They look well tended, not that I'm an expert. All of them have fertilizer around them to keep them good and healthy. The carrots are still growing, but the rest seem to be sprouting.

"If you look at the plants they won't grow," Jack said.

I turned and looked at him. He has told me this before, but if he tells me again it can help with his memory flow.

"Why not?" I ask playing dumb.

"Because they know you're watching," Jack said, "they're shy."

"Well doesn't talking to them help them grow?" I ask, "what's talking to them if you don't look at them?"  
"You talk to them as you water them. Then when you're done you look away," Jack explains.

"You must be a pretty good farmer if you know this," I say flirting poorly.

"Well you pick up a few things the longer you farm," he says modestly. He scratches the back of his head and avoids eye contact.

"So if we stand here by them won't they stop growing?" I ask.

"Well as long as we don't look at them they will be fine," he says with a hint of suggesting in his tone.

I walk away from the plants and Jack follows like his dog. I stop by the fields and look at his animals again. They all look happy and lazy as they lay in the grass. All of them are clean and content.

"They look good," I say looking back at Jack.

"Thanks," he says blushing.

"You know Nami I never meant to hurt you," he said leaning closer to me.

"It's fine," I say confidently. I know I'll get him back.

"Are you sure?" He asked getting a little closer.

Are faces are mere inches apart. If I guessed it would be around two or three. Our eyes were locked into each other's and you could probably feel the intensity.

Before I knew it our lips locked us instead of our eyes. The heat between us grew as our lips parted and our tongues met. His hands roamed under my shirt and mine gripped around his neck tightly. This was how things were supposed to be and deep down inside he knew it.

As I got more and more comfortable and felt healthier again Buddy started barking. We pulled apart when we heard a shrill eek. Buddy sounded like he didn't like the intruder, which made me feel a little better about myself.

"Muffy," Jack said softly hurrying away.

I grabbed his hand and looked at him with wide eyes. He looked back at me looking guilt ridden. He pulled his hand away and walked quickly to his new fiancée. Even after that he wanted Muffy. I knew this was just the beginning though, after one day like this one started it would definitely work out.

Jack and Muffy rejoined me after a couple minutes. I looked at them hand in hand and felt repulsed. How could he want a girl like her? Sure she was pretty, more beautiful than I'd ever be, but she wasn't very bright. She didn't understand much at all, she is also the kind of girl you wouldn't see married to a farmer. She was too girly to get her hands dirty, who knows she might break a nail, or being out in the sun too long might make her loads of make up run.

"Nami what are you doing here?" Muffy asked her with some dislike.

"I wanted to look at the farm," I said gesturing to the animals.

"Why?" Muffy asked curiously.

"Artists like to look at their surroundings," I said thinking of things quickly.

"You don't have any of your drawing supplies," she said.

"I was observing first," I said walking towards them.

Muffy looked scared as I advanced. She probably thought I was going to hit her. I would like to, but she isn't worth it.

I walked passed the two and Buddy came running up to me. He barked playfully his tail flopping around. He jumped up against me and I squatted down and pet him softly.

Jack and Muffy started talking quietly as I avoided looking at them. A giggle erupted from Muffy that made Buddy growl softly.

"Good boy," I mumbled drawing no attention.

--

When Muffy finished her break and came to the bar at around eight I sighed. She and Jack had been glued to the hip all day. Now it was my time to get back in the game.

"So that's how you came up with the song?" I asked a merry Gustafa.

"Yeah who knew people could have that much of an influence," he said laughing.

"Well us artists get a lot more than others do," I said chuckling along with his loud laugh.

"Hell yeah we do," Gustafa said downing a blue punch. With his starving artist income he couldn't afford much.

"Hey I've got to go," I said apologetically as I stood up.

"Well come by soon and I'll play something I'm working on for you," he said.

"Cool run it by me in a couple days," I said leaving.

As I left the bar I saw Jack walking away. He walked Muffy back to work, another thing that slightly sickened me.

I walked passed him easily pretending I didn't see him. I felt all floaty, probably because I was confidant, that and being buzzed most likely helped.

"Nami," Jack said walking faster to catch up to me.

I turned around, "oh hey Jack didn't see you there."

"You sound happy," he said smiling.

"Tonight feels like it's going to be a good one," I said.

"Your happiness feels contagious," he said smiling.

"Come with me," I said taking Jack's hand and walking quickly.

Jack followed me without any resistance. I took him to the Goddess Spring. The one that was empty of a goddess, but beautiful still.

Tonight was chilly and calm. Frogs made their noises, the water moved around softer, even the waterfall seemed to lower its crashing.

I looked at the dark water that had pink glowing into it. It looked so nice even though it would be way too cold to enter.

"Why did you bring me here?" Jack asked. I linked my blue eyes to his brown ones and smiled peacefully.

"Because it's nice here," I said. "Sometimes it's nice to get away. I sat on the wet grass and relaxed.

"It is nice here," Jack said sitting next to me, his hand falling on top of mine. My smile grew a little when he didn't move it.

I thought about cuddling up to Jack, but he was going to do all the work for me.

"So do you really want to draw stuff from my farm?" Jack asked.

"Well I thought about it in the past but never got around to it. Then today when I told Muffy that I realized maybe I should do it someday," I said.

"Someday soon?" Jack asked looking at me hopefully.

"Well I wouldn't want to intrude on your love life," I said toying with him.

Jack put his other hand behind my neck and pulled me close to him. Our lips locked again and another make out ensued. This one wasn't interrupted, one reason I chose to come here.

When things got really heated Jack started to pull away.

"Nami," he muttered.

"What?" I asked holding onto him still.

"Well it's just, I'm engaged," Jack said.

"Yeah you were engaged to me," I said.

"Well I don't feel right cheating…"

"Don't worry Jack, I'll take care of you," I said suggestively.

Another make out started. This time Jack didn't pull away. This time I was going to get what I wanted.

Too bad I didn't think things through that day. Things could have ended up different. Things could have ended up right. But in a way it's a good thing all of this happened.

--

Rexa13: I wasn't going to write this as Nami looking back. But I think it was a nice touch. Please review and tell me what you think. ^^


	5. Mush

Rexa13: Hello again peoples. ^^

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

--

My sleep was deep enough to keep me there for a long time. Still I rose from it a few times, not really awake. I wasn't capable of anything when I was in these semi-conscious moments. I tried to move any which way unable to do that simple task. Finally though, I was awakened to a knock on the door. Several actually, several hard knocks on the door.

I got up with a heavy body. I felt like shit. My muscle's ached, my head hurt, my nose was running. Looks like last nights events weren't the best thing for me to be doing.

When I opened the door I saw Jack smile at me. He held a trick blue flower, the only one I really cared for. He looked so happy then when he really looked at me his smile fell.

"Nami are you okay?" He asked in a worried manner.

I tried to say something but couldn't just yet, so I simply shook my head no.

Jack took a hold of my shoulders and walked me back to my bed. I sat down on the soft fluffy bed with ease. Then I fell onto my side.

Jack set the flower onto my bedside table. He removed a glove and put his hand to my forehead. I instantly recoiled from the hand not wanting to be touched at this time.

"Oh Nami you're really sick," Jack said sitting on my bed.

I nodded hoping that would be enough. Apparently it was. Jack pulled out some milk and a fresh strawberry.

"Here baby have these," he said.

I wasn't sure if I would be able to hold anything down, but the strawberry look delicious and the milk seemed promising.

I sat up a little but was unable to keep myself propped up for long. Jack put my pillows up so the wall could support me. I smiled at him weakly as he helped me sit up.

After a few minutes I had eaten the great strawberry and drank half the milk. It was now resting by the flower.

"So how long were you waiting for me to get up?" I asked in a low voice.

"A couple hours. I guess it was a good thing, someone needs to take care of you," he said moving next to me.

"I don't want you to catch this," I said as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it baby I'll be fine," Jack said confidentially.

I let my head fall on his shoulder and I closed my eyes. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Ten thirty," Jack said quickly. "Oh crap. I've got to go for now. I'll be back around noon to check up on you."

Jack pulled his arm away, jumped out of my bed, and ran out the door very quickly, with few motions.

I knew where he was going. With a sigh I got up, closed my door and locked it. He wasn't going to check up on me today. I was pissed, sick, and tired. Besides if I ignored him for one day then maybe he would want me even more the next.

--

No one was there at noon. One passed by with nothing. Two. Three. Four. That's when I gave up and went back to bed. I wasn't going to deal with a liar, not today.

At midnight I awoke to a knock at the door. I was groggy and forgot about the morning as I got up and answered my door. There was Jack who seemed tired himself.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Then I remembered everything. I closed the door in his face.

"Nami," he said knocking.

"You're twelve hours late," I said feeling back to my old self. Looks like food and sleep were all I needed.

"I'm so sorry Nami. I'm here now, here for you," he said. He sounded sad like he needed someone.

I sighed and opened the door. I pulled Jack in and closed it. He walked to my bed and sat down.

"What?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Muffy cheated on me," Jack said. His head fell into his hands.

"You cheated on her," I said smugly.

"Yeah but I thought it was a mistake after. She said she's sorry and it won't happen again," he said.

Funny I could almost hear her say it myself. Her high voice capturing every word, she'd say it with promise. Muffy didn't seem too much like the cheating type.

"Well then why are you here?" I asked not knowing the answer.

"Because I need you," Jack said jumping to his feet. He pulled me to him and kissed me.

"What about me do you need?" I asked. He seemed to love both of us girls. He went to her for affection, me for attention.

"All of you silly," he said.

"Maybe sex isn't an option tonight," I said regretting the it was an option the other night.

Jack nodded. "Lets just be together then."

For a while we did nothing but talk about what I did while I was gone. Then we just cuddled in my bed. We talked about life on the farm, his relationship with Muffy. Stuff we wanted to do before we died.

When five a.m. rolled around Jack had to go. Farm work started in the early morning. I didn't want him to leave, not yet. Every option became open.

Jack left at seven. He was behind in everything thanks to my need for him.

As I looked at the wall I let myself cry. I wasn't supposed to go all the way. I wanted him to want me for me not what I could do for him. I wasn't sure where any of this was going to end up. I felt so powerless it was scary.

It was Winter 8. I had two days to stop a wedding. Two days without a plan, two days of uncertainty.

I didn't know how things were going to work out. I just knew that after hours of talking with Jack like that I had to get him back. I needed him more than ever.

Sleep overpowered me for a few hours. Then at two I officially got up for the day. I got dressed and left my room, left the hotel.

The snow was almost gone. It was still cold but the sun was out to get rid of all the white mush. I was careful not to step on it so I didn't end up with any on my shoes.

Villagers looked at me funny, like they could tell what I was thinking, like they could tell what happened. It scared me so I walked away from them. The mush was more inviting than the feeling of their presence.

Then a warm always-inviting presence filled me. I was near Gustafa's yurt. He was sitting on a chair by his door. I smiled and he waved.

"Hey," I said walking over.

"Where were you yesterday?" Gustafa asked as he strummed randomly.

"I was sick so I stayed inside," I explained.

"Well you're better now," he said.

"Yeah," I said sitting next to him.

We talked about the weather for a bit. It wasn't like small talk the normal people had. We went more into detail. The feel, the smell, the look, we were analyzing what we saw and relaying it to each other. These talks were what made hours with nothing to do worth something.

Gustafa was a great guy, second best. But he wasn't Jack. Sure if I really did lose Jack he would be an option. I doubt Gustafa could measure up inside. I doubted he could take Jack's role.

I thought about this all day. I wasn't sure why I was thinking about it at all. In fact I didn't want to be thinking about it. I felt like I lost already because of it.

At six Jack walked towards me. He smiled and I looked down.

"Can we go talk in private?" He asked.

"Where to?" I asked.

"How about your room?" He asked.

I sighed my heart growing heavy. "Okay but seriously no sex tonight," I said.

"Deal."

--

As soon as we entered my room that night we were locked together. Our lips locked. He did things I didn't know were possible, I did things I thought I'd never do. He kept the deal though. We went to every place but the one I said no to.

At three a.m. we wanted to sleep, but we stayed up talking. It was incredible how simple life could feel just talking. Even though it was simple it was the best feeling.

"So am I just the other woman?" I asked as I started to doze.

"I'm not sure what anyone is," Jack said.

"I want you to be with only me," I mumbled.

"I love you Nami," Jack said.

"I love you more," I said sure of this.

Then he really seemed to wake up. "There is no way that is possible," he snapped.

I jumped a little startled at the sudden outbreak.

"It is," I said fully awake.

"How?"  
"Because I'm putting myself in this position when you obviously don't want to be with just me," I said.

"The villagers seem to know, Nami," he said.

"I don't care what the villagers know," I said. "As long as they know I love you more than that whore Muffy ever could."

"I don't want them thinking badly of me," Jack said.

"Then choose Jack," I said.

He looked confused.

"Choose between Muffy and I."

"Right now?" He asked.

"This very second," I said.

--

Rexa13: I've been reading a lot of Ellen Hopkins lately. I guess her writing has influenced me in a way, not that I could ever write like her. Please review.


	6. Life Without Plans

Rexa13: So I've been trying to figure out how to write this chapter. I have a small bit written in my head, but not much.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

--

I slept for several hours after Jack left. It wasn't a deep sleep, in fact I was tossing and turning and waking up quite a bit. I had a dream, one that continued where it left off after each time I woke up.

It wasn't much of a dream, more like a nightmare. One that was so realistic I thought it was actually happening.

Each time I woke up my face and pillow were wet. More like my face was wet and my pillow was drenched. All this crying can't be good.

When I finally got up it hit me. Jack's decision, the one that I had been waiting for.

Jack didn't want to have to choose. No he wanted the best of both worlds, a loving wife and family, and someone on the side.

This should have been my wake up call, the thing that should have made me realize was I was getting myself into.

Today was the day Jack was supposed to be getting married.

--

I walked outside looking at the ground. Most of the snow was gone, replaced by new grass. It was small and very green.. But by the time spring was halfway gonethe grass would be a vivid green. It would look so alive. Then in the summer it would get lighter, from lack of moisture. Then in the autumn it would get almost as green as the spring. Then winter would come again.

It was a never ending cycle for nature. It would always change, but always end up the same as before.

I tried to fit this into my life. I was always changing like nature, but it wasn't like this. Then I tried to fit it into what was currently happening in my life.

The last couple of days had been a bit of a cycle. Jack would be with Muffy in the day. Then at night he would come looking to be with me. That's how it was for three or four days. This couldn't be the rest of my life though.

Jack walked towards me from his farm. My heart skipped a beat and a smile made it's way onto my face.

Jack stopped when he reached me. He wasn't smiling, in fact he was avoiding eye contact. He made the air feel awkward.

It was over.

My heart slowed it's pace. My smile vanished as quickly as it had come. I looked at the ground. Tears I didn't know I had sprang to my eyes.

"You chose me," I said.

"I know. But I went home and I thought about everything," Jack said.

"You had second thoughts," I said.

"It's just after you left my whole life changed. Then I really met Muffy and a glimmer of hope came back," Jack explained.

I could feel his eyes on me. I looked up. "I came back."

"Yes you did. It made me so happy to be with you Nami, it really did. But I'm not so sure it was what I wanted. You're unstable," he said looking away.

"Unstable?" I asked.

"You weren't sure. You had second thoughts," he said letting his eyes return to me.

"I came back," I repeated.

"You came back too late," Jack said, "I want Muffy."

"The what are you still doing here?" I asked. "Go to your little fiancé."

"I just thought you should know the whole story," Jack said.

I didn't reply to that. It was a good thing to know how Jack felt. At least he had the decency to come tell me.

"I'm really sorry," Jack said.

"Just go," I said.

Jack walked away and I cried.

--

I spent a couple days in the Inner Inn. Ruby spent a lot of time with me making sure I was okay. But whenever she and Tim were in the same room together I couldn't be there. It was too hard to see a happy couple.

Rock didn't seem to care that I was unhappy. In fact he would talk about the new happily married Jack and Muffy. Apparently they were very happy together. They were bringing a lot of happiness to the valley.

There was also talk of Celia getting married at the end of the year. Marlin was going to be a happy man. Rock and Lumina had been spending quite a bit of time together.

All the talk of couples wasn't helping my broken heart. I needed someone too. I couldn't have who I truly wanted, but I did love another.

--

The second day of spring I went to Nina's funeral. Everyone was there shedding tears for the woman who everyone loved.

I remembered how she had given me advice. She was a magnificent woman. She loved everyone in the village, and everyone loved her.

I wish she could give me advice of what to do now. I needed her to help me out. Nina would know what to do with my failure.

It looked as though she was watching out for me though. After most had left the gravesite Gustafa came over to me. He gathered me into his arms and let me cry on him.

Gustafa let me cry on him about everything that had happened for days. He was there whenever I needed something. He was someone who talked to me, and would just hold me.

Gustafa didn't seem to mind that I was spending quite a bit of time with him. In fact I didn't either. It was great having someone to talk to all the time.

I spent nearly every waking moment with Gustafa. The whole in my heart was starting to mend itself because of Gustafa. But it wouldn't go away completely.

After spending my spring with Gustafa I found I was happy. I was with someone who I loved, someone who loved me back. It was amazing being with him. The best part he never asked to have anything from me. He never took anything.

It was also great to see the looks on Jack's face when we were together. He would glare at Gustafa.

At first it was awkward talking to Jack. It was something I found hard. But after a while it became easy again.. Jack and I would spend time together as friends. He never got anything from me anymore. Though we both lusted after each other.

By the time summer rolled around Muffy started walking around sporting a baby bump. Everyone in the village was happy that a baby was on the way.

But when people started asking if I was pregnant things became bad. I started to notice the baby bump I had. I was upset I hadn't noticed it before.

Halfway through the summer I moved into Gustafa's yurt. We were getting serious.

He knew I was pregnant, and I had come to accept this myself. We didn't talk about it too much; it wasn't something I enjoyed to talk about.

"Nami even though I know that's Jack's baby I'll raise it as my own," Gustafa said one night.

Summer was coming to a close. Fall was coming to the valley fast.

"I don't want to burden you," I said putting my hands on my growing stomach.

"It won't be a burden. I love you Nami, and I will love the baby," he said caressing my face.

I ran my finers through my hair. I had let it grow for a while. It was now halfway down my neck.

"Maybe I should leave the valley," I said more to myself.

"Don't do that Nami. It's like running away from something you need to face."

"It's not running. I'll just be clearing my head. I should come back."

--

Three days later I did leave the valley. Gustafa cried. It was the first time I ever saw it. I assured him I would come back. I wasn't sure when, but I would.

Perhaps I would stay away for the winter, come back in the spring. Or maybe I would stay away all that year.

I wasn't sure though. I don't think I should plan anything though. It's not something I've been very good at. My plans always got me into some kind of trouble.

So I was just going to leave. Have a baby in some unknown town. Come back sometime later in life. But I would be back. My child would know his father, and Gustafa, who I hoped could be a father one day.

--

Rexa13: So this is the end of Wishful Thinking. I thought it was going to be longer. In fact I had a plan for it to be longer. Perhaps I'll make that plan a sequel. But that should be up to you as the reader. Please review telling me what you think.


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